I got sucked into Pure Romance (the MLM brand) and as someone who worked as a salesperson for nearly 10 years before that, thought I could hack it as a MLM "business owner".
Eventually someone asked me (the apparently unembarrassed, sexually-liberated person that I was) if I would take some sexy photos for her. She was a sex-worker and needed some photos for her clients. I was like .... ummm. I'll try??
Not shockingly, the photos were ultra-cringe because I only had an iPhone 5c, no knowledge of posing, composition, no lighting, no editing software or know-how.
But she liked them. They were better than what she was making herself, and I was like -- ... is there something to this??
Fast forward -- and I started to realize what was happening. The women who were coming to me weren't really the people that I expected.
I was under the impression that the majority of people who did these kinds of photo shoots were blushing brides, and happily-married honeymooners.
It turned out that the women who were attracted to me were mostly healing from something. We had something in common in that way. I am a sexual abuse survivor. From ages 2 - 13, I had a step dad who was sexually abusive.
I didn't realize when I started shooting boudoir at 25, that that part of my life was still relevant.
In fact, I thought that 'it didn't affect me' and that because I was such an open book about it, that it didn't matter. Because I had a loving relationship, no eating disorders, no depression, a good relationship with my mom -- surely none of it mattered anymore.
I'd moved on.
Until I found out that I wasn't his only victim.
Until the day that I found out his house caught on fire, and I was glad.
Until the day that I heard he tried to run over his girlfriend with his car and told all my friends that "we are lucky he finally got caught for something where no one got hurt".
And then found out that he made bail and hasn't been back in jail since then.
Until I realized that I was carrying around a lot of resentment.
And not just for him. But for my real dad. And my mom.
For every old boyfriend, and all the friends who left me.
For all my siblings who I haven't gotten to get to know.
Wayne Dyer says "there are no justified resentments." and that even the worst people in the world are doing a job.
Even your traumatize-rs are an integral part of your soul family.
I started to realize that the universe, or god, or my higher self, or whatever you choose to call it and I had a conversation before I came to this Earth. And I knew that I would go through this bullshit.
I knew that I would be subjected to some of the worst abuse imaginable.
I would live in a house with mental illness, domestic disputes, red and blue flashing lights out the windows, a mother who worked 3 jobs for a deadbeat to spend.
I knew that I would struggle with self - worth for a little while, before I would learn what my job is here on Earth, this time around.
The world's a stage and we're all playing a role. I know that my role is to help people see their value in their physical vehicles -- the bodies that their spirits reside in.
And I don't care if I'm not solving world hunger, global warming, lobbying politicians, or researching the next life saving medications.
I'm doing something that feels right.
This is why I travel to wherever I'm needed, and why not every photographer is a boudoir photographer.
This is why I make my prices reasonable.
This is why I offer no interest payment plans without credit checks.
This is why I removed the gates I was accidentally keeping by requiring larger retainers, full hair and makeup services, and picture-perfect shooting spaces.
My photography is about celebrating bodies, and self-loving
It's about serving you, and about having a
fun fucking time.
If I were to set up a dating profile online my bio would look something like:
I'm an alpha female who loves new experiences, live music, traveling and generally kicking ass and doing cool stuff. I also watch too much youtube and I eat for fun too much. I like astrology & tarot, stargazing, swimming in rivers, and laying in the grass.
Cherry Tree Boudoir is an empowerment oriented studio focusing on showing women that they can take life by the horns and commit to themselves. We believe in holding yourself accountable for your dreams, equality, determination, and revolution.
Yes this absolutely is a snapchat filter - I'm a real person after all.
Sun: Taurus - lazy, cozy, comfortable, a want for security and overall extremely stubborn, good cook, love to eat and try new things, sense oriented (sensual)
Moon: Scorpio - extremely nurturing with intense emotions that go from 0-60, with very little in the middle, and a tendency toward suspicion.
Rising: Capricorn - I want to look like I'm super cool and collected like a boss bitch -- this directly clashes with my lazy Taurus every-day-nature lol. I can come off as a bit abrasive and serious when you first meet me -- unless I'm drunk then Im a friggin'-friendly-riot because my hidden Sagittarius comes out.
Mercury: Aries - I'm very direct when I'm speaking and am quick to ask questions when I don't understand something. I'm not shy and love to be the center of attention. I'm likely to yell, I don't know why (aside from being an Aries Mercury). I just like to yell, idk! If I'm yelling I'm probably not angry, I'm excited. See Mars placement.
Venus: Gemini - I love to banter with my husband Jeremy. He's also a Venus Gemini. I love clever people who can make me think.
Mars: Cancer - UGH this is my least favorite placement of mine. Mars is not very happy in Cancer. My motivation is very related to my emotions. And when I get angry I cry. It's so annoying and makes me look really vulnerable BUT I'M NOT, DAMN IT.
*Bonus: 10th house (Career/Reputation/Legacy) - Ruler Scorpio with the Moon and Pluto. - Scorpio rules the occult, sex and psychology (among other things) and the moon rules your emotions and is representative of women and feminine energy. It is likely when you have the moon in the 10th house you will work with women. Due to the nature of the 10th house to focus on legacy and reputation, when the moon resides here there is a drive to be emotionally invested in your career and life path. To have Pluto in the 10th house indicates issues with authority and the likelihood of needing to be your own boss. Pluto dismantles the power structure, and requires you to burn something down to rebuild it stronger.